Once upon a time a 6 year old farm boy from northeastern Indiana tracked mud into the landing and on the steps leading to the kitchen of his home just after this area had been scrubbed by his mother. Following this catastrophe, he was given the opportunity to correct his mistake by scrubbing the landing and the steps. Actually there was not a whole lot of choice involved and it didn’t take a degree in rocket science or anything else for him to realize that scrubbing the area would be the best choice to ensure a long and happy life. Following his temperament and his training, he made the grievous mistake of doing a perfect job of scrubbing; the job was his for the next 12 years.

At the age of 9 years, this same boy can remember thinking that if he ever had a family that he would be sure to listen to his children. This was during an era where children were to be seen and not heard. Was he successful? You’ll need to ask Cheryl, Pamela and David.

There was not a whole lot of time to continue such lofty thinking. At the age of 10 years, his father built a special “safety platform”, attached it to the tractor, and put him on this tractor to do a man’s work.

It wasn’t long until college looked pretty good. What to study? Lab tech, missionary aviation at the Moody program in Tennessee? Settling on pre-med he enrolled at Wheaton College and arrived there to start his freshman year never having visited the campus. Talk about culture shock. Being the valedictorian of a class of 21 students did not impress anyone in the freshman class of 400 where it seemed that everyone else had been at the top of very large classes at equally large schools. It didn’t take long for this farm boy to think of looking for an “easier school”. A “mom-visit” quickly buried those thoughts. College life was soon consumed with studies, Christian Service Council activities on skid row and Cook County Hospital, part-time work and letter writing, but not necessarily in that order. This farm boy had met a city girl who won his heart just 6 months earlier and would finish her senior year of high school and go on to nurses training and earn her RN degree.

This farm boy and this city girl who by now had earned her RN degree were married just a couple of weeks after her graduation. A year in graduate school to meet medical school entrance requirements was followed by being admitted to the freshman class at Indiana University School of medicine. If being accepted at Wheaton and subsequently graduating from that school was a miracle, then gaining entrance into and graduating from medical school was an even greater miracle. During medical school, this nurse not only worked full time at a medical center hospital to support the family, but also gave birth to two daughters, Cheryl and Pamela.

Medical school was followed by internship, residency, selective service obligations, the birth of David and then more residencies.

Finally at age 35, this ex-farm boy was ready to start his vocation and to earn a living. Academic appointments, community mental health clinics and private practice followed.

Now, after practicing child and family psychiatry for more than 38 years, a concern that has been building for several years has surfaced and just will not go away. How best to pass on all that has been learned and to do it in a way that would be the most efficient and effective? How to help parents and families to work smarter and not harder? How to provide the key systems for families who want to learn, change and grow and do it in a way that gets right to the heart of the matter?

And so, GROWING BETTER FAMILIES has come into being. The focus of this program is on Becoming a Stronger Parent Leader.  In this program it is now possible for parents to quickly learn how to address some of the most troublesome and irritating situations that face all families and to implement growth producing solutions. They will also learn how to strengthen family relationships and promote the development of essential thinking functions.

Lowell E. Becker, M.D.
Child and Family Psychiatrist